Little Light
by Noelani618
Summary: Sometimes, all you need is a Little Light. An introspective look at Castiel's possible feelings and thoughts in 7.23 and after the screen goes dark. No slash.


**Little Light**

Tag to 7.23 "Survival of the Fittest"

Disclaimer: Don't own, just borrowing for a little while.

Summary: Sometimes, all you need is a Little Light.

A/N: Special thanks to my dear friend Ani-Maniac who beta'd the first draft of this little story. :)

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_"In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present." -Sir Francis Bacon_

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He was an Angel of the Lord, or at least, he had been one. After that he'd nearly fallen then served as an angel superior, which had been followed by a brief phase of pretending to be God, until finally, he had truly and absolutely fallen. He didn't know what he was now. Or maybe he did. He was a fugitive, a wanted being whose death many sought. It was not the first time. His crimes in the past, however, could not compare to his latest misdeeds.

The shame and the guilt crushed him. He couldn't handle the consequences of his actions. It was too much!

So he had shoved it aside, convinced himself with the help of a hallucination that he did not care, that it was no longer his responsibility. He could see everything clearly, could see how every action and choice led to suffering and how easy it was to benefit from another's suffering. It was the way of the world. He embraced it, clinging to it like a child clings to a security blanket.

But it did not last. The darkness he had surrounded himself with did not remain absolute. Desperately, he had tried to run from the Little Light illuminating his terrible sins, coming up with any excuse to not face it, to not let it get too close. He couldn't bear the pain.

The Little Light, however, could not be held at bay for long. Seeing him run, the light had simply remained close by and gradually stretched out to push against the cloak of ignorance he wrapped around himself. The familiarity called to him, the promise of absolution and love and forgiveness was there waiting for him to accept. Shame had him pulling the cloak ever tighter around him even as it thinned against the light's luminous touch.

No, no, he didn't want it! He didn't want to accept it. How could he? After what he had done…surely it was impossible!

But the Light cannot be deterred forever. It cast aside the cloak, laying his sins bare for everyone to see. He froze. The sheer weight of the light was terrifying. Quickly he scooped back up the cloak and threw it on like a veil.

He fled.

But he couldn't stay away.

Not now.

As much as it hurt to be in the Little Light's presence, being away from it completely was somehow far more frightening. He did not want to go back to the pitch black emptiness of before. The despair waiting for him was too great for him to handle.

So he went back. He watched as the Little Light lost a piece of itself yet again.

And he knew. He had followed the Little Light before, had found it once in the darkest pits of Hell where it had still managed to burn. There was no turning back. He wanted what the Little Light offered.

Only, he was scared.

He was nothing but bad luck; a cursed being. What could he possibly do to help? He would ruin everything like he had before! The Little Light was going against one of the biggest shadows in the world, a shadow he, himself, had stupidly let out despite the light's pleas.

The Little Light was undeterred, saying that despite him being bad luck he was still wanted. The Little Light had wondered about its own luck, demanding how he thought it could be good luck when it was as surely cursed as him. For the first time in so long, he let some light inside and warmth filled him. It felt like the beginning of forgiveness. The Little Light would not seek to throw off the darkness he now wore once again. It would wait now for him to cast the dark cloak aside before completely forgiving him.

It was his decision.

He went with the Little Light on its mission, stayed close and trusted it to lead him.

Facing the shadow monster he had released was frightening. He resolved not to let it show. The light inside him had reminded him of the great light he once had as an angel serving the Holy Light. And when the battle had commenced he was not afraid.

They won!

But the victory was short lived. The shadow monster had one last trick and as it died had dragged them into a shadowed valley surrounded by the wolves and beasts of evil long destroyed on Earth's plane. They awaited the Holy Light's ultimate judgment here, in this prison made especially for them.

Little Light and he were now trapped here.

In the gloom and darkness of this valley of death, the Little Light glowed like a beacon. There was no mistaking its presence here.

And he was afraid.

The beasts would descend quickly, drawn by the unexpected radiance as moths to the flame. He had to find a way out for the Little Light, had to find the path. At first he tried looking alone, but the black was deep and long and he found himself lost and alone.

What foolishness! He never should have left the Little Light.

Fear and despair consumed him. He didn't know how long he cowered, how he remained unseen, but he did.

And to his joy, the Little Light found him, like always.

"Cas?"

The fallen angel stumbled from his hiding place towards the Little Light.

"Dean," he croaked.

Dean caught him, keeping him on his feet.

"Cas! What the—! Where'd you go?"

Castiel blinked slowly, noting the man was injured, blood and dirt staining his face and body. A darkened blade was held at the ready in one hand. The monsters had already found him then.

"I was looking for a way out." Castiel said, meeting the man's questioning and suspicious gaze. "I—there is none. It's too dark."

"Maybe, maybe not. Even if we don't find a way out, Sam will."

Such certainty and faith! He wished he had some still; wished he could share it with the hunter.

"The monsters will escape if he does."

Green eyes glittered with grim determination. "Then we make sure they can't."

Something shifted inside him, something Castiel wasn't expecting bubbling up. He wondered if the man realized his soul glowed brighter at that pronouncement, challenging the monstrous stalkers. Probably not.

"No more flying off whenever you feel like it. If we're gonna survive this, we need to stick together." Dean growled sternly. He added with a grumble, "Nearly gave me a friggin' heart attack."

Words spoken in the library of the now destroyed house of a dead man repeated in his mind.

"_Listen, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family; that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something, you gotta trust me, man."_

Castiel nodded solemnly. "I won't."

Last time he had made the mistake of not listening to Dean, to his brother. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. While he no longer trusted himself, he did believe in Dean and the man's ability to keep fighting no matter the odds. Silently, he offered up a quick prayer of thanks to his absent Father, wherever he was, for creating the Little Light known as Dean Winchester.

Dean seemed surprised but that quickly faded into resolve. He jerked his head. "Come on."

Castiel followed the Little Light into the surrounding darkness.

**FIN**

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_I honestly have no idea where this came from. Of course, I knew I wanted to write a tag for the finale because the ending was totally awesome, but this wasn't what I had in mind initially. But I quite like how it turned out in the end. :)_

_Anyway, I hope ya'll enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think. :)_


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